With reports of Hostess filing for bankruptcy, everyone seems to be terrified that this is the end of the Twinkie. Never fear, folks, I am hear to tell you that the iconic golden yellow cream filled snack cake will be around forever. Mine has been.

1,259 days old

Okay, not forever. But at least since August 1, 2008. The crystal rhinestone numbers indicate the day I unwrapped the package and blinged up my snacks. I also gave the treatment to a McD cheeseburger. They have been sitting in my studio/guest room, vaguely wrapped, since then. By “vaguely wrapped” I mean the cheeseburger is in its original wax paper, the Twinkie  nestles next to it  in their plastic bag. For a while they were in an old granola bar box. There is no mold, no rot, no bugs; just the unsettling scent of stale oil.

Here’s where it gets scary. I went away for a few weeks and came back to find a small mouse had moved into the same room. He tore up a brand new comforter. He ate the underpants from my laundry. But never  touched these well preserved treats.  He actually had to run past them to get to my dirty undies, but didn’t find them appealing. He also knew better than to eat the bait cakes I set out for him as well.

Yum.

1,262 days old

delicious on the inside!

This little still life grabbed my attention from its post on the northwest corner of Barnard and Gaston just after the Veterans Day parade on Friday. I wasn’t  sure if the little army man had anything to do with the holiday.  I marveled over it, read the note, took some pictures and carried on with my day.

The following day, Saturday, I threw out some stinky flowers which were well past their prime. It’s not the wilted dead flowers I can’t stand, but the smell of slimy water. I imagine if dead people had bad breath, it would smell like goopy rotten flower water. After tossing the offending flora, I turned to admire some velvety looking red roses just blooming on the side of the house and I spied the little still life. Notice the same little man and note, but different flowers than the day before.

And what is the direct order?

Anis Mojgani is a poet and artist who lives and works in Austin,Tx. He studied art, both undergrad and graduate, here in Savannah. According to his website, he is traveling in the midwest, and thus is most likely not the originator of these vignettes. Other similar still lives may or may not have been spotted in different areas downtown. The mystery continues…

I am in love with the work of Simon Evans, a British artist living in Berlin. This piece  caught my eye first, a: because I love charts and lists, and b: because he is listing everything he has (and I am exploring everything I want to get rid of.)

But this hand embroidered  piece won me over.

He uses hand drawn maps, charts and text. I heart hand drawn charts, maps, charts and text. I heart Simon Evans.

The Crustless Whitebread Gallery is my way of keeping the fridge from becoming a cluttered mess of junk mail, new yorker cartoons and expired coupons. Every moon or two or three, I curate a new show based on something which has inspired me. Earlier this year–okay, over Christmas last year– handsome hubbo and I made a brief trip to New Orleans.

Clementine Hunter Baptism on Cane River c. 1945

We spent our days walking around, absorbing the sounds and smells. The city vibrates with energy. The evenings we sucked up whatever music we could get our ears to.

This included a trip to Preservation Hall, complete with VIP ringside seating. We spent a gorgeous morning at the Ogden Museum of Southern Art.

Theora Hamblett "Making Sorghum" 1964

Benny Andrews "Death of a Crow"

A note to museums everywhere: Can we please have more postcards of your collection. Books are great and all, but they just sit on a shelf. Postcards are not that expensive to produce, and allow us to take little pieces of your museum with us. We can hang them on our walls and send them to our friends.

Another birthday:  three years ago I rhinestone-dated this creme filled sponge cake (later named Pammy, in a  contest on this blog, for it’s fake spongy fluffy bits). Pammy has also been hanging around, like her sister Patty, in the same unsealed plastic grocery store bag in no special place in my studios for three years.

Nothing: no rot, no mold, no bugs, no ants, no mice. Nothing recognizes this as a viable food source.

Please note in the upper left hand corner of the newspaper, an article about a Hooter’s waitress’ tips being contingent upon the size of her…smile.

Three years ago today, I gave birth to bought this most precious cheeseburger. To commemorate the blessed event, Iaffixed the date on the bun in crystal rhinestones. (I couldn’t get a beading needle through the bun and the burger.) Since then, the burger, named Patty, has been tucked into her original wrapper at room temperature in some forgotten corner of my studio. I trot her out a couple of times a year for gallery shows or photo shoots.

And now for a close-up:

No bugs, no mold, no rot. Simply dessication. And a very funky smell.

I’m not telling you what, click on lemon to find out!

A spam comment asked a great question

What are you doing now?

Let’s just say it has been a busy spring, lots of work, lots of cooking, and a spell which involved a lot of reading for fun.  I am going forward with a lot less  art making and a lot more  writing (with an even amount of food making).

I am just launching a new tumblr blog, looking at the narrative of some of the objects which have come into my world.  Object Permanence is  the understanding that objects exist (or invoke a memory) even when we no longer see (own) them. It is also the name of my project, which can be found at the86list.tumblr.com.

Please check it out. I would love your feedback, either via email or in comments.

this is an e.e. cummings poem

backside heiroglyphics

I stitched with sparkly thread on vintage linen

so the most handsome man on the planet, who is far away from me,  knows that I carry his heart in my heart

and I added sequins, so he knows I mean business

How to enjoy MeatWater

1. Engage sense of humor
2. Put on art eyes
3. Relax, pop a bottle of of your favorite Meatwater (mine is grilled littleneck clams with lemon hot sauce, husband loves bangers and mash)
4. Surf the site, read about more than 50 delicious flavors of MeatWater
5. come up with your own flavor and enter  contest
6. Process, engage analytical thinking skills

"the memory of dining without the hassle of eating"