Patty and Pammy

I just wanted to see what would happen.

I had no preconceived ideas of the outcome, I just wanted to play.

As part of thesis work for my Master’s Degree in Fine Art at Savannah College of Art and Design, I embellished anything I could stick a needle through. I embroidered crackers, toast, fruit, beef jerky, softballs, and dollar bills, among others.

On July 29, 2008, I purchased a McDonald’s cheeseburger, grill order, no condiments. Because I was afraid I would forget that date, I glued the numbers on the bun in real Swarovski crystals. I named her Patty and tucked her back in her original wrapper. Three days later I felt she might be lonely, so I found her a sister, a Twinkie named Pammy. Pammy also got the crystal rhinestone date treatment.

The two have lived together ever since. Never in the refrigerator. Never sealed. For a while they lived in an empty Kashi granola bar box. Then they lived in a staples bag in my wine rack. Sometimes they came on a field trip in my purse to a farmers market or a friend’s house. They once took a trip on a yacht to the Bahamas.

Almost 16 years barely wrapped and stored at room temp, they’ve not been eaten by anything. I live in the American south, a place crawling with creatures that are looking for food: mice (and bigger), palmetto bugs (a nice word for very big tree roaches), and ants, to name a few. During Patty and Pammy’s life in my house, all of those adorable little pests (including a baby bat) have made a visit, and none of them recognized Patty and Pammy as a viable food source.

In summer 2018, we had a grand celebration to honor their 10th birthday. We had a gallery show. We had a birthday party at McDonalds. Award-winning director Pat Longstreth made a movie about the birthday party.

In 2023 we had a blowout 15th birthday party for them at White Whale Craft Ales in Savannah, GA. They both wore beautiful fluffy dresses and had a court of nuggets in attendance.

In 2024, we’re celebrating Patty and Pammy’s sweet sixteen with an 80’s prom at Service Brewing in Savannah, GA on July 27.

There’s actually heaps more backstory, including a chicken sandwich that transformed itself into cheesecake, a three pound summer sausage that slutted its way around the Caribbean, Bologna man, and two vanishing cheeseburgers. The manuscript is underway.

Scroll down for lots of pictures and two short movies.