Patty and Pammy 

I just wanted to see what would happen.

I had no preconceived ideas of the outcome, I just wanted to watch the progression. So on July 29, 2008, I purchased a McDonald’s cheeseburger, grill order, no condiments. Because I was afraid I would forget that date, I glued the numbers on teh bun in real Swarovski crystals. I placed the burger (now named Patty) back in her original wrapper and tucked her aside. Three days later, I felt she might be lonley, so I found her a sister, a Twinkie named Pammy. Pammy also got teh date treatment.

The two have lived together ever since. Never in the refrigerator. Never sealed. For awhile they lived in an empty Kashi granola bar box. The they lived in a staples bag in my wine rack. Sometimes they came on a field trip in my purse to a farmers market or a friends house. They once took a trip on a yacht to the Bahamas.

Ten years at room temp, barely wrapped. They’ve not been eaten by anything. I live in the American south, a place crawling with creatures that are looking for food: mice (and bigger), palmetto bigs (a nice word for very big cockroaches), and ants, to name a few. During their Patty and Pammy’s life in my house, all of those adorable little pests have made a visit, and none of them recognized Patty and Pammy as a viable food source.

In summer 2018, we had a grand celebration to honor their 10th birthday. We had a gallery show. We had a birthday party at McDonalds. Pat Longstreth made a movie about the birthday party.