Patty and Pammy

I just wanted to see what would happen.

I had no preconceived ideas of the outcome, I just wanted to watch the progression. On July 29, 2008, I purchased a McDonald’s cheeseburger, grill order, no condiments. Because I was afraid I would forget that date, I glued the numbers on the bun in real Swarovski crystals. I named her Patty and tucked her back in her original wrapper. Three days later, I felt she might be lonley, so I found her a sister, a Twinkie named Pammy. Pammy also got the crystal rhinestone date treatment.

The two have lived together ever since. Never in the refrigerator. Never sealed. For a while they lived in an empty Kashi granola bar box. Then they lived in a staples bag in my wine rack. Sometimes they came on a field trip in my purse to a farmers market or a friend’s house. They once took a trip on a yacht to the Bahamas.

Almost 16 years barely wrapped and stored at room temp, they’ve not been eaten by anything. I live in the American south, a place crawling with creatures that are looking for food: mice (and bigger), palmetto bigs (a nice word for very big cockroaches), and ants, to name a few. During their life in my house, all of those adorable little pests have made a visit, and none of them recognized Patty and Pammy as a viable food source.

In summer 2018, we had a grand celebration to honor their 10th birthday. We had a gallery show. We had a birthday party at McDonalds. Award-winning director Pat Longstreth made a movie about the birthday party.

In 2023 we had a blowout 15th birthday party for them at White Whale Craft Ales in Savannah, GA. They both wore beautiful fluffy dresses and had a court of nuggets in attendance.

Scroll down for lots of pictures and two short movies.

We are currently planning a Sweet Sixteen for Patty and Pammy in Savannah in late July 2024. Stay tuned for details.